Help, I Am the Only Lolita Here!

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Am I all alone?

Have you ever attended a lolita fashion meet up and the event does not go as planned? I recently attended a lolita gathering for International Lolita Day that had a big surprise. Once I arrived at the meetup location, I learned that no one else would be able to attend the gathering.

In this blog post, and in a corresponding video, will share my recent meetup experience and give you my tips on how to handle a similar situation.

Once Upon A Time...

I could not wait to attend this December International Lolita Day meetup! My local lolita community planned an extra special event to celebrate. As this was my first winter meet, there wasn't any way that I would miss this event! For this holiday event, the group activities included:

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A visit to a local museum for their 'Festival of Trees' exhibit,
have a delicious meal at a local cafe
​and conduct a holiday gift swap!

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To prepare for the event, I planned out my lolita coordinate, brushed out my wig, and wrapped my handmade exchange gift. When the date of the event came, I doubled checked the time and location for the event and made my way to the meet! When I arrived, I adjusted some of the final touches of my coordinate, grabbed my camera and swap present, and made my way into the local museum.
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No one was there.

​Well, there weren't any other Lolitas that I could see. The staff member I spoke to was very kind. He explained he had not seen anyone that was dressed in a similar fashion to me. Perhaps the other members were running late. I quickly checked my phone and discovered that there were some unexpected events that would prevent anyone else from attending the meet. I froze. I was already at the meet-up location and none of the other members would be attending. All I could think was,
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"What do I do now?"

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​My Advice

1. Do Not Panic​

It is okay. Do not panic. I know it is the first natural response, but it is not going to help the situation. You are in a space, you look beautiful, it is going to be okay. Take a deep breath. You've got this!
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2. Access the Situation

Okay. Take a moment to look around you. Is the space that you are in a public space? Are there people around? Is there a decent amount of foot traffic? If you needed help, would you be able to approach someone if you needed to? It is important that you are not completely isolated. You want to feel generally safe in this area by yourself. If you feel that space is hostile in any way, you should leave as soon as possible. No event is worth a possible threat, or the stress that comes from worrying that a possible threat is around the corner. Play it safe!

Another important aspect of this step is transportation. Do you have access to it? If you drove yourself to the meet-up, are you able to access your vehicle quickly? If someone had dropped you off at the event, are you able to call them and have them pick you up? Are you able to contact a taxi, Lift or Uber to collect you if something comes up? You need to be able to leave quickly and safely.

3. Ask Yourself if This is an Event Worth Attending

Is this a meet-up that you would enjoy if you stayed? Is it something you can enjoy without other Lolitas? It is important to consider your options. Would you be happier doing something else with your time? If you would rather go home and play a video game, read a book, or enjoy another activity with your time - do it! I can understand that this discussion may be more difficult if funds for the event had been paid for ahead of time. Still, I do not see the point in attending an event if you are not going to enjoy the time you spend there.
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4. Have Fun!

If you would have more enjoyment attending the show, exhibit, play, or special event that you had intended to do from the start then do that! ​Have fun! You are excited about this event, so enjoy it! If you can, connect with some of your non-Lolita fashion friends or family to see if they are in the area and would like to join you. You never know, you might make someone's day and your own! 

Take your time and enjoy the experience. If it is allowed, take photos of the area. Ask a staff member to take a photo of your coordinate! This way, you are able to share the fun experience with the other members of your in-person community. You can also share it with your online community!
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And now, back to the story!

I was excited about the exhibit, so I decided to stay! I wanted to see all of the beautiful trees and take photos. The staff was very friendly and helpful. They explained that there was a raffle for many prizes, generously donated by local businesses and that I could vote for my favorite decorated tree. All the decorated trees were stunning! We used to have a similar event in my home town, but it had stopped since the event came too commercial. This event was lovely! I made my way by each tree. Since I was alone, I let myself take in each detail of my favorite trees. My favorite shots are below!

Once I finished the exhibit and submitted my vote (I just had to vote for the winter woodland tree, as it matched my coordinate), I met up with my fiancee for lunch! We went to our favorite Chinese restaurant and afterward, we went shopping. I picked up a few Pusheen goodies for the upcoming holiday season for myself, and we found a few perfect holiday gifts for friends and loved ones.
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...and there you have it!

​While I wish I could have spent the fashion celebration with my frilly friends, the day turned out to be absolutely fun and unexpected. I hope that this story was helpful and possibly a bit entertaining. You can now feel assured that you know what to do if a similar situation happens to you.

Have you attended a met-up alone? Do you have any tips that I did not cover? What was your coordinate for this recent International Lolita Day? As always, I would love to read your answers!

​Stay Frilly,