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How Old is Too Old for Lolita? An Opinion by a Tricenarian

11/8/2017

6 Comments

 
As the date of my birthday ebbed closer, this topic began to creep into my mind. Apparently, a few other Lolitas in the online community are revisiting this topic as well. The question is:

How old is too old?

Is there an expiration date for this fashion?
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What Makes Lolita Fashion Unique?

As an alternative fashion style, it is easy to see that lolita fashion is unique. The overall feminine, modest, and carefully coordinated outfits truly make a statement. Especially when compared to mainstream western fashion styles, there are a few details that set lolita fashion apart.
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✓ A-line or Bell-shaped Silhouettes
✓ ​Uniquely Rococo and Victorian Inspired Pieces
✓ Bold Storytelling Prints
✓ Well Made Pieces
✓ High-Quality Materials

Some additional attributes that set lolita apart for me personally involve the creative freedom that is available. I adore the fact that I can accessories so completely with lolita. I also appreciate that I am able to play with multiple patterns and colors with a single complete lolita outfit.
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©Gothic & Lolita Bible, Misako Aoki

My Society's Expectations

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Especially when this fashion is compared to current western trends, lolita fashion stands out. The most common utterance I overhear are that the clothes I choose to wear resembles a costume. I can see that this is the case when compared to most standard western clothing. Many times, the people who express this are impressed to learn that my fashion is an alternative clothing style from Japan.

Aside from the over the top features, it is often expressed that the style is very youthful or childish. While my estimated age is never guessed, which I could only credit my wigs and my youthful personality, it is always surprising to me that such an elegant style is considered "childish".

Now that I am thirty years old, I have noticed that the western suggestions from American clothing companies have changed as well. This is especially clear to me when I look at online Google and other similar advertisements. While these companies seem to grasp the concept that I prefer a printed dress in a modest style, these suggestions are a far cry from the lolita aesthetic.
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© Old Navy
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© Misako Aoki
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© Old Navy
While these suggestions by Old Navy are fashionable, they are just not a style I am interested in wearing. I still prefer multiple clothing layers, a full skirt, and the creative freedom lolita gives me. While I may consider a similar simplistic style for work and everyday use, it is more likely that I will naturally gravitate to fashion styles with more common features as lolita, such as Otome-Kei.
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My Overall Opinion Is

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I do not believe someone is to anything for lolita fashion, least of all for something as trivial as your age. I have seen mothers who coordinate with their young daughters. I have seen grandmothers create elegant and impressive Lolita looks, and young women still in high school enter the fashion. Life is far too short to wear conventional clothing. My personality fits the lolita aesthetic very well, especially Sweet lolita. While I may age into a more Classic Lolita fashion style or a more mature Sweet Lolita style, I cannot see this transformation occurring any time soon. lolita is all about expression. The ability to wear such feminine, sweet and cute clothes brings me great happiness! I believe this is infectious. Many times the reactions to my clothing style are overwhelmingly positive!

I believe that confidence is key. If you are confident in your clothes, people can pick up on that assurance. If someone feels that you are too, well anything, to do what you love then ignore them. There are far too many people out there in the world who will support you for your courage and creativity. Surround yourself with people who inspire, respect, drive, support and empower you!
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In conclusion

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Do what you love and what makes you happy. Your choice of style is not going to harm anyone. If this means that you will wear over the top Sweet Lolita for the rest of your life, then do it! While I share that vision, I do realize that fashion is changing and evolving. If I evolve and I wish to take a different turn with similar styles, those desires will be based on my personal journey, but not my age.
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What is your opinion? Do you feel that there may be people who are too old to wear lolita fashion? Have you personally found yourself questioning if you are aging out of lolita? Let me know below!

​Stay Frilly,
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6 Comments
Anonymous
12/20/2017 01:33:26 pm

I really like this post. I am also nearing 30 and the thought that I will have to outgrow alternative fashion styles such as lolita also entered my mind. The same time I think it is sad that people are judged as "too old" for the fashion they like. But even when I was 18, I was afraid of wearing sweet lolita because people already found me too old for it. In the end, it are just clothes. People who judge you for it are not worth your time anyway. I hope you keep enjoying wearing the fashion. I like your coordinates.

Reply
Callista (magicalgirlme) link
12/21/2017 10:21:32 am

Hello!

Thank-you so much for your lovely comment. I agree fully. I became interested in Lolita fashion at a similar age, and I worried about getting into Sweet Lolita in particular as well. I tried Aristocrat Lolita, but it did not take. Eventually, I allowed myself to try Sweet Lolita and it just fit me perfectly. With the recent addition of Lolita maternity dresses and Misako Aoki announcing her birth date, I feel that age is no longer as strong of a stigma as it used to be.

While it is a bit harder to explain to non-Lolita folk when I go out wearing Sweet Lolita, most of the time people react positively. I feel entirely comfortable in the style, which is really my desired accomplishment in an outfit. As Lolita is a fashion, I know that my style will change over time. I will just be sure that the growth and change are on my terms.

I hope that you continue to enjoy your fashion style!

Reply
Mel
2/20/2019 01:25:19 am

First of all I love your blog. I got introduced to lolita around 10 years ago when I was 39. I still love it and I do not think I will ever give it up. I still love being sweet lolita mostly but I do enjoy the other styles. I might be the oldest Brolita on the planet and I love it.

Reply
Callista (magicalgirlme) link
2/20/2019 11:33:55 am

Hello Mel,

Thank you so much for your comment, and for sharing your experience. I admire you greatly for sticking with something that you love! We shouldn't have to stop something that gives us happiness, especially since it does not harm anyone. Sweet Lolita is such an adorable style. What type of Sweet Lolita do you like? Do you do more of an old school look, over-the-top, or just a simple sweet style? I'd love to know!

I know that it is an additional challenge as a Brolita. You are so brave! I have such a massive respect for any man who wears lolita fashion. I am always blown away by the amazing coordinates and confidence!

I hope that you continue to enjoy my blog, and thanks again!

Reply
Heather Megan
8/31/2021 05:56:35 pm

I know this was written more than a few years ago, but was just what I needed when I needed it, I've admired Lolita so much for years but as a man never knew I could partake in Brolita until after realizing I'm mtf tg at the age of 45, oh the time I've lost. Reading your blog made me realize its not too late to learn and enjoy the aesthetic. I've bought dresses and learning makeup and can't wait to continue this journey. I'm alrady giddy like a girly girl about it. Thank you for the encouragement! I'll definitely be reading more fom you!

Heatherr

Reply
Callista (magicalgirlme) link
11/23/2021 08:15:18 pm

Hello Heatherr,

Thank you for your lovely comment; my heart is bursting with happiness! I am so very glad to read that you have started your lolita fashion journey. This beautiful fashion should be one that everyone can enjoy! I hope you enjoy every moment falling in love with this style <3

Reply

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