How Strangers React to My Clothes, and How I React to Their Reactions

©Midori Fukasawa, Gothic & Lolita Bible

To say that lolita fashion is a unique fashion style is an understatement. With the current mainstream fashion trends, it is only natural that such a feminine, frilly and elaborate clothing preference would stand out. One of the reasons I love lolita is how bold of a statement it makes, and how creative it allows me to be. Throughout my fashion journey, I have had numerous favorable and less than desired reactions to my clothes.

Here are my hard and fast rules for how I handle complete strangers and their most common reactions to my clothing preferences.

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©Midori Fukasawa, Gothic & Lolita Bible

The Cheerleader

These are some of my absolute favorite strangers. While most people in a public setting tend to stare, these strangers are the ones that go out of their way to sing your praises. For me, these have been the young lady in Books a Million that dropped brand names, the young man at the bus stop who expressed his love of my coordinate and the elderly woman that was over the moon with my whole ensemble. These strangers are completely ecstatic by your colorful and unique display! These people are engaged and want to discuss the fashion with you. Their positive outlook and enthused conversation tend to drive others to drop in and listen. Somehow these strangers completely understand the positive attributes about my self-expression. They then allow my self-expression to make their day a little brighter. Interactions such as these are ones I completely treasure!

How I handle these Interactions
I politely engage these conservationists always. It is so much fun! I believe that it is important to nurture positive reactions such as these, plus you never know what connections you can make!
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The Pervert

Unfortunately, this fashion can draw the wrong type of attention. I have had some awkward instances where men cannot seem to grab the concept of this fashion is just that: a fashion. Mainly these instances involve obscene gestures and catcalls. The most recent interaction I have involved being recorded on an older man's phone without my consent. These are unfortunate effects of other people's perceptions. Additionally, there is always the person who cannot keep their hands to themselves. Whether it a curious granny that wants to feel your fabric rather than asking or a creep that wants to see if you truly do wear bloomers over your undies these people cannot resist the swish of your fabric. These are interactions you wish could be completely avoided.

How I handle these Interactions
I handle these types of interactions in one of two ways. If the person is not in my immediate space - I ignore it. I have found that reacting on the inappropriate behavior only caused its prolonged existence. I try to obscure the camera or video as much as possible without drawing attention to the fact I have noticed the behavior. A simple shift in how I am seated can do wonders for a line of sight for an undesired shot. If the person is in my immediate space, such as someone running their hands over my clothes, my reaction is completely different. I let it be known that the experience is completely unacceptable. I state in a calm by the stern tone of voice that what they are doing is wrong with, "Excuse me" and "What do you think you are doing?" Onlookers have always assisted me in silently shaming the person doing the undesired action. Despite the fact the action is completely direct, the action stops almost immediately, and I can get back to better things.
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The Debbie Downer

Even compared to the other undesired attention the, Debbie Downer type may be the worst. Unlike the Pervert, the Debbie Downer is loud and does not back down from a challenge. In my experience, these strangers are often young and obnoxious. These strangers taunt, shout and parade their uncalled-for opinions to the world without humility, common decency, and sociable considerations. These interactions are extremely public and possibly the most difficult to ignore. The Debbie Downer can be one individual but often travel in groups. The taunts bring more attention from the public.
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How I handle these Interactions
It is best to completely ignore this inappropriate behavior. These strangers want to elicit a reaction. By proving a reaction, it only allows for the tournament to be prolonged. Additionally, it enhances the possibility of the escalation of the situation. I completely ignore these strangers as much as humanly possible. If they try to coral around me I politely push past them and allow the banter to die down. While it is exceptionally difficult to do I refuse to react in any way and my position pays off. ​
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The Inquisitor

These are my absolute favorite strangers. These are the people that are so overcome with intrigue and curiosity that the cannot hold back their questions. They want to know everything about this fashion! Common questions range from, "Where do you buy your clothes?" to "What does your outfit mean?" Every piece of information you give seems to add fuel to their interest and helps to build their understanding. I adore how engaged these strangers are! They are completely open to being educated about lolita and even tend to bring in the attention of onlookers with the same curiosity.

How I handle these Interactions
​​I always engage with these strangers. The most time I can spend with them the better! The best part of being part of a sub-culture, in my opinion, is being able to be a positive representative of the fashion. I feel as if I am an ambassador of sorts! This one interaction will help to be a positive experience in a stranger's life. I have met some interesting people. I have taken pictures with strangers like these so they can treasure our short time together! You never know, these types of strangers may end up joining the fashion themselves!
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I hope this post was helpful! What types of strangers do you run into? What do you do in these types of situations? I would love to read your responses below!

Stay Frilly,