When Lending Items to a Non-Lolita
Try to remember when you saw lolita fashion for the first time in person. That moment is the official confirmation that this fantastic and pretty clothing style does in fact exist! The magical experience heightens when you finally wear the garments. As you can relate, it is extremely exciting to your loved one that they may be able to wear such lovely and frilly things. The request changes from person to person. Most of my loved ones just want to try on the dress, while a few others would like to participate in a full lolita transformation. Regardless, there are a few things I make sure to do first.
1. Make an Important Decision
Are you comfortable lending out your lolita clothes and accessories? If so, which specific pieces are you willing to share with your friend or family member? Are there some special pieces that you are not comfortable lending to them? If something happens to your item, are you able to replace it and/or are you okay with the realization that something may happen to the item? It is completely natural to have special items that you want to make exclusive to you. You may even find that you are more willing to lend items or apparel to particular loved ones, and not with others. What is important to remember is that these are your items! You are absolutely welcome to make the decisions on what to share, and even if you would like to share your lolita garments and accessories.
2. Choose the Date or Event
If you are comfortable with lending your items over to your loved one without a particular event, great! If not, I find that specific parameters for yourself and your loved one can come in handy! I have offered to share my lolita items for friends that would like to attend a lolita fashion meet-up, an anime convention, or any other special events with greater ease. This is especially the case with fashion meet-up and events that are lolita fashion friendly. How about a lolita meet-up that involves a fun filled romp in the woods while completely dressed in Angelic Pretty? Mmm, perhaps not.
My favorite suggestion is to hold a lolita transformation day at my place! Not only can all of the items be laid out and shared easily, but my friend or family member is able to get comfortable physically wearing the fashion. As we seasoned lolitas know, bloomers and a petticoat take a bit to get used to.
It is extremely important to communicate how important your lolita fashion pieces are to the person you are sharing your items with. I am usually honest with them and says something similar to, "I know this goes without saying, but these items are very special to me." I share that I trust them and that I am excited to share this lovely fashion with them. This has never backfired. I always choose to share my items with people that I trust, and people that will respect me and respect my possessions.
Keep your expectations reasonable! If you find yourself making complicated or numerous requirements in order to lend out your item, perhaps you should not be leading it in the first place.
When Lending Items to a Lolita
1. Make an Important Decision
Similarly as above, be sure to ask yourself these questions: Are you comfortable lending out your lolita clothes and accessories? If so, which specific pieces are you willing to share with your lolita friend? Are there some special pieces that you are not comfortable lending to them? If something happens to your item, are you able to replace it and/or are you okay with the realization that something may happen to the item? These questions are just as important with your lolita friend.
2. Choose the End Date or Event
For what event or time period will your lolita friend borrow your particular lolita pieces for? When will you receive your item back? Are you comfortable with this piece being used for a certain event?
Be open and honest with your lolita friend! Feel free to explain that your items are special to you, and that you know that they understand. Just because your friend is a fellow lolita, does not automatically mean that their expectations are the same as yours. Some of my lolita friends use plastic hangers for their apparel, while others and myself use padded cloth hangers. To each his own, but you can see that there is a unique preference to each lolita on simply the storage of their items. I would much rather be honest than have a break-down in communication or expectations later on.
Again, keep your expectations reasonable! If you find yourself making complicated or numerous requirements in order to lend out your item, perhaps you should not be leading it in the first place.
When Borrowing an Item from a Lolita
1. What are You Comfortable with?
As the person who is borrowing your friend's lolita garment or item, the possession will be under your care and responsibility. If your lolita friend wishes to lend you a dream dress of theirs for an event, are you comfortable with that? With the item under your care, you will be responsible for any damage, or heaven forbid theft, that occurs in relation to that item or items. If you are not comfortable with this, then express that. Most likely, your friend will have some additional pieces for them to lend you. You and your lolita friend both need be comfortable with the items in your care!
2. Choose the End Date or Event
For what event or time period will your borrow this particular lolita piece for? When will you return the item to your friend? Are you comfortable with wearing this piece for this specific event or day?
What are your particular questions about the item? What is the brand or maker of the item? What are some of the ways they store or care for their pieces? What are the care instructions for the item that you will borrow? Be open with your friend with any inquiries you may have to avoid confusion.
4. Be Considerate
Before you take the item into your care, ask your friend about the care instructions and if they would like for you to wash or dry clean the garments before you return them. Some lolitas may say yes, and others may say no. At least once the item is worn you will know about your next plan of attack.
Remember, this item belongs to someone else. Be sure to take care of the item! If was incredibly kind of your friend to lend one of their lolita treasures to you! If something happens to the item, be honest with your friend. Accidents happen. Even if an accident occurs, take ownership of it and make it right.
5. Thank Your Friend!
Something as simple as a handwritten note or a small gift to say, "Thank-you" would be a fantastic way to express your gratitude to your kind friend! You do not want their generosity to go unnoticed.
And there you have it! Those are my tips for lending lolita items and borrowing them as well. Have you lent our your items? Have you borrowed lolita items? What are your tips? Let me know bellow!
This is the account of one woman and her passion for lolita Fashion.